Neither was I. According to what I've been told, grandmother was...wild. She married and had a daughter like she was supposed to, but after that she abandoned all of her traditional responsibilities, devoted herself to the arts, and took lovers right and left. [a pause] Her husband was the jealous type. Jealous and prideful. So he killed her. I was five when it happened.

But--sorry for getting so dark. You should open your present.