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IC - INBOX/VOICEMAIL/TEXT/THREATENING LETTER
Please leave all IC correspondence for Dr Hannibal Lecter here.
[Hannibal's gaze narrowed even more, before he tipped back in his chair and gave The Archivist all due consideration. What he was asking for was, therapeutically speaking, almost impossible. There was no way to just 'stop' a behavior, especially an addictive one.
Still. It would be interesting to see if this man could make a go at it.]
Very well. You need something to ground you in the moment. Preferably something that can cause you a jolt of pain. I would recommend either a razor blade or a pen-knife. When you feel yourself starting to lose control and ... go for a cigarette, you need to give yourself a sharp jab in the center of your hand.
[He made sure that The Archivist was listening to everything he was saying.] I am going to give you a phrase that you must repeat to yourself afterwards. You start with, 'My name is...', then I want you to name the exact time and location, along with what you were just doing last. That should keep you focused on ... not smoking.
[Dark eyes bore into Sims.] That is not going to help with the cravings, though.
Still. It would be interesting to see if this man could make a go at it.]
Very well. You need something to ground you in the moment. Preferably something that can cause you a jolt of pain. I would recommend either a razor blade or a pen-knife. When you feel yourself starting to lose control and ... go for a cigarette, you need to give yourself a sharp jab in the center of your hand.
[He made sure that The Archivist was listening to everything he was saying.] I am going to give you a phrase that you must repeat to yourself afterwards. You start with, 'My name is...', then I want you to name the exact time and location, along with what you were just doing last. That should keep you focused on ... not smoking.
[Dark eyes bore into Sims.] That is not going to help with the cravings, though.
[Hannibal cut another piece of his meat, and neatly chewed it while Judar gathered his thoughts. Once the young man asked his question, Hannibal put aside his silverware once more to give the question it's rightful due.]
I wanted to understand human emotions better than I did as a child and then a young man. I suffered a great deal of trauma during my formative years -- and I suppose I needed to understand why people did the things that they do.
I wanted to understand human emotions better than I did as a child and then a young man. I suffered a great deal of trauma during my formative years -- and I suppose I needed to understand why people did the things that they do.
[Jon makes a face and openly cringes at the suggestion. His mind turns immediately to Dorian's torture, to the blade slipping beneath his nails, into the pad of skin between his thumb and the rest of his fingers. It had hurt. It had been agony. But Hannibal's not wrong. It had certainly been distracting.
The Archivist avoids the other man's gaze by staring down at his hands. He's foregone gloves for the moment and his right is a mass of burn scars that look suspiciously like they're in the shape of another person's hand.]
My name is... [His brows furrow. 'The Archivist' is how he should finish that, by rights.] Is... all of it needed? Obviously, I know my name.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't stop the cravings. I just need to... I need to stop doing it. It's not just the one person. I've triggered... more than one person. It's harder here. I didn't go out as much before. There weren't as many people with... with asthma.
The Archivist avoids the other man's gaze by staring down at his hands. He's foregone gloves for the moment and his right is a mass of burn scars that look suspiciously like they're in the shape of another person's hand.]
My name is... [His brows furrow. 'The Archivist' is how he should finish that, by rights.] Is... all of it needed? Obviously, I know my name.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't stop the cravings. I just need to... I need to stop doing it. It's not just the one person. I've triggered... more than one person. It's harder here. I didn't go out as much before. There weren't as many people with... with asthma.
Edited 2019-08-07 02:32 (UTC)
[Now that was an interesting expression - as if the Archivist had in fact - seen something more violent than just someone nicking themselves on a blade. Now that was fascinating...
One glance to the hand that was burned, scarred with the outline of someone else's hand. The Archivist was clearly someone who knew about torture and mutilation -- first hand.]
Yes, all of it is needed. So you can remind yourself of who you are, and not who you are before you get lost ... in smoking. [He searches the Archivist's face.] If you truly want to stop attacking people - with asthma - you will have to remind yourself what the cost is. In all ways.
One glance to the hand that was burned, scarred with the outline of someone else's hand. The Archivist was clearly someone who knew about torture and mutilation -- first hand.]
Yes, all of it is needed. So you can remind yourself of who you are, and not who you are before you get lost ... in smoking. [He searches the Archivist's face.] If you truly want to stop attacking people - with asthma - you will have to remind yourself what the cost is. In all ways.
[And there it is. The word he's been avoiding. 'Attacking.' The Archivist has been attacking people, and it makes his skin crawl with guilt. He can't even deny it, paper over it by trying to correct the other man to 'triggering.' All of these euphemisms. Jon seems to sink more into the chair where he's sat, telegraphing shame in every movement for someone with the eye to see it.]
It's not... I'm the same person. It's not that simple anymore. I wasn't always a... a chain-smoker, but now that I am... A coworker introduced me to it. My boss introduced me to it. He gave me... cigarettes and that was fine at first. It was fine. I... the first attack I triggered, I didn't even know it was happening. There weren't any... overt signs. She was upset, but I didn't... I never meant to do that.
[He finally looks up at Hannibal.]
I didn't start out meaning to be a chain-smoker. But then I started getting sick when I wasn't smoking, and... [Jon crosses his arms over his chest, hugging himself.] I chose to do this. To keep doing this. I know. I just... I never expected it to get this bad.
[He draws in a breath, trying to center himself.]
S-stabbing myself? I can do that. I need to, um... I need to buy something for it. But I can do that. And... the rest of it, too.
It's not... I'm the same person. It's not that simple anymore. I wasn't always a... a chain-smoker, but now that I am... A coworker introduced me to it. My boss introduced me to it. He gave me... cigarettes and that was fine at first. It was fine. I... the first attack I triggered, I didn't even know it was happening. There weren't any... overt signs. She was upset, but I didn't... I never meant to do that.
[He finally looks up at Hannibal.]
I didn't start out meaning to be a chain-smoker. But then I started getting sick when I wasn't smoking, and... [Jon crosses his arms over his chest, hugging himself.] I chose to do this. To keep doing this. I know. I just... I never expected it to get this bad.
[He draws in a breath, trying to center himself.]
S-stabbing myself? I can do that. I need to, um... I need to buy something for it. But I can do that. And... the rest of it, too.
Edited (repetition) 2019-08-07 04:12 (UTC)
[ So that's what a therapist deals with? It's not what he was expecting, really. Why people do the things they do... It's less vague and more open-ended on how that kind of thing could be achieved. ]
And now that you understand why... Does it help?
[ Is a follow-up question cheating? Oops. ]
And now that you understand why... Does it help?
[ Is a follow-up question cheating? Oops. ]
Edited 2019-08-07 12:13 (UTC)
[Hannibal's eyes narrowed, because if there was an emotion he did not understand, it was shame. It wasn't something he could honestly say he wanted to ever understand, either. Why feel shame when one was above all other human creatures?
The Archivist clearly thought the rules did apply to him, though. So whatever he was hiding behind 'smoking', he did not have control of it and he would be hurting more people in the future if he did not gain control.
Including people that Hannibal actually spoke to regularly.] Perhaps you did not start out this way, and perhaps it is not your fault that you became addicted to cigarettes. However, your continued dependence on them is a deflection of owning to your own mistakes.
The Archivist clearly thought the rules did apply to him, though. So whatever he was hiding behind 'smoking', he did not have control of it and he would be hurting more people in the future if he did not gain control.
Including people that Hannibal actually spoke to regularly.] Perhaps you did not start out this way, and perhaps it is not your fault that you became addicted to cigarettes. However, your continued dependence on them is a deflection of owning to your own mistakes.
[Here, Hannibal smiles slowly, as he puts down his fork so he can lean in and look the other man in the eye. His answer, as always, is truer to him than anything else.]
It helps me understand the hows and the whys, and makes me able to interact with more people in a real fashion.
It helps me understand the hows and the whys, and makes me able to interact with more people in a real fashion.
I'm not deflecting. [He knows he shouldn't snap. The man is trying to help and has given him some relevant advice. That's all he really needed. There's no point in staying here for further discussion. There's a pocketknife to be purchased. That should be his priority. The Archivist's gaze strays to wherever the nearest clock is, if he can even find one in the office.
His voice is softer when he continues.]
I know they're my mistakes, my choices. I just... [Don't want to stop. It's as simple and as sickening as that.] I need to be able to-
I haven't been able to eat.
[The words slip out in frustration, and Jon quickly corrects.]
Smoke. I-I haven't been able to smoke like I normally would. I can, um... I can do that alone. Without... triggering people. But I haven't... I know why. I know what I need to do to fix it, but it makes me h- I... have to smoke more for it.
His voice is softer when he continues.]
I know they're my mistakes, my choices. I just... [Don't want to stop. It's as simple and as sickening as that.] I need to be able to-
I haven't been able to eat.
[The words slip out in frustration, and Jon quickly corrects.]
Smoke. I-I haven't been able to smoke like I normally would. I can, um... I can do that alone. Without... triggering people. But I haven't... I know why. I know what I need to do to fix it, but it makes me h- I... have to smoke more for it.
[ He needed that to interact with people as well? Though it definitely answered his question, and another that he'd kept to himself for a long while. Of course it also made him curious about other things, but he'd already pressed his first question with a follow-up.
So Judar nods, taking another sip of his drink before cutting up a bit of his meal. ]
Then... I'll be more clear and up front with you, so you don't have to work as much. It's your turn now, for a question.
So Judar nods, taking another sip of his drink before cutting up a bit of his meal. ]
Then... I'll be more clear and up front with you, so you don't have to work as much. It's your turn now, for a question.
[Hannibal arched his eyebrow again, as if to say, 'Oh I most certainly do not believe that', before he let his expression smooth into a intent, listening air.
There is a clock in this office -- but it is at such an angle that it is difficult for the patient to see it in the office. Hannibal, however, can see it perfectly.]
[Eat is clearly heard -- and then Hannibal's gaze narrows once more. Interesting. The man doesn't appear to be a fellow cannibal. Perhaps he eats something else entirely ... ]
So you need to measure out your smokes. Cut yourself back gradually, to where only one will meet your needs.
There is a clock in this office -- but it is at such an angle that it is difficult for the patient to see it in the office. Hannibal, however, can see it perfectly.]
[Eat is clearly heard -- and then Hannibal's gaze narrows once more. Interesting. The man doesn't appear to be a fellow cannibal. Perhaps he eats something else entirely ... ]
So you need to measure out your smokes. Cut yourself back gradually, to where only one will meet your needs.
I appreciate that greatly.
[Hannibal answered smoothly, smiling a little to himself as he thought of the question and then asked it with pure curiosity.]
So tell me, what precisely is a magi meant to do in your world? You never have really been able to clear up that particular mystery.
[Hannibal answered smoothly, smiling a little to himself as he thought of the question and then asked it with pure curiosity.]
So tell me, what precisely is a magi meant to do in your world? You never have really been able to clear up that particular mystery.
[ Ah. So they were up to that. It wasn't really a hard question, but it was something that would come with a long answer, probably. ]
I guess I wasn't really clear on what a magi is, either. So the whole thing would be a mystery. Ah...
[ That was him admitting that he'd never been thorough in explaining such things about what he was. Still a human, yes. A magician, mage, or whatever word suited someone that used magic- well that part was obvious and clear. So he should start from the beginning?]
In my world, everything comes from the same source energy- when people die, as long as they haven't Fallen, which is meant to be rare, their energy and soul return to that source to join the world again. It's everything around, in everyone... Save for three souls, who reincarnate instead. Those three souls have a special connection with the world, where it provides as much energy as that person needs for magic, and in turn, that person is connected enough that they can sense great disturbances that happen, even on the opposite side of the planet. It's because of that, that magi are called the voices and wills of the world. It's also because of that that they become the strongest magicians.
It's because of that, that there's an instinct to find people that could guide the world into a new, great era. Be it a single kingdom, or the world.
Every age, if they lost their life, the magi is reborn. They're drawn to seek out people with a quality that could change a great amount of people, with a strength to overcome great trials. Kings, basically. Except it doesn't matter what the person is, or where they're from, as long as they're not a magician. They just need those qualities, and we'd pull a dangerous trial into the world for them to conquer. If they're successful, they come out with a contract and bond with a powerful being and enough riches to start a kingdom, if that's how they decide to make their mark on the world. So a magi, if still accepted by that Candidate, is meant to guide and support them to continue that goal.
[ So because they were so connected to the world, they were the kingmakers intended to guide humanity. Basically. He just gave Hannibal a more thorough explanation and context, pointedly adding the bit on a magi's instincts, because he would be clear and up front. ]
I guess I wasn't really clear on what a magi is, either. So the whole thing would be a mystery. Ah...
[ That was him admitting that he'd never been thorough in explaining such things about what he was. Still a human, yes. A magician, mage, or whatever word suited someone that used magic- well that part was obvious and clear. So he should start from the beginning?]
In my world, everything comes from the same source energy- when people die, as long as they haven't Fallen, which is meant to be rare, their energy and soul return to that source to join the world again. It's everything around, in everyone... Save for three souls, who reincarnate instead. Those three souls have a special connection with the world, where it provides as much energy as that person needs for magic, and in turn, that person is connected enough that they can sense great disturbances that happen, even on the opposite side of the planet. It's because of that, that magi are called the voices and wills of the world. It's also because of that that they become the strongest magicians.
It's because of that, that there's an instinct to find people that could guide the world into a new, great era. Be it a single kingdom, or the world.
Every age, if they lost their life, the magi is reborn. They're drawn to seek out people with a quality that could change a great amount of people, with a strength to overcome great trials. Kings, basically. Except it doesn't matter what the person is, or where they're from, as long as they're not a magician. They just need those qualities, and we'd pull a dangerous trial into the world for them to conquer. If they're successful, they come out with a contract and bond with a powerful being and enough riches to start a kingdom, if that's how they decide to make their mark on the world. So a magi, if still accepted by that Candidate, is meant to guide and support them to continue that goal.
[ So because they were so connected to the world, they were the kingmakers intended to guide humanity. Basically. He just gave Hannibal a more thorough explanation and context, pointedly adding the bit on a magi's instincts, because he would be clear and up front. ]
For the ones I can smoke alone, that's fine, yes. But not... not the other kind. There's no just scaling back. It needs to stop. People are- once I... trigger an asthma attack it... lasts. Forever. For as long as they're alive. My cigarettes are- [He pulls a face at himself and this particular metaphor he's chosen that is proving wholly insufficient.]
They're extremely potent. The normal methods for controlling an asthma attack after it's been triggered don't work. And I can't stop it.
So, I can't smoke those kinds of cigarettes. Ever. [He sounds like he's more trying to convince himself than he is explaining to Hannibal.] The stabbing will help. It should help. Thank you.
They're extremely potent. The normal methods for controlling an asthma attack after it's been triggered don't work. And I can't stop it.
So, I can't smoke those kinds of cigarettes. Ever. [He sounds like he's more trying to convince himself than he is explaining to Hannibal.] The stabbing will help. It should help. Thank you.
[A great deal of this knowledge was, in fact, raising Hannibal's suspicions greatly about what cigarettes were actually a metaphor for. The man before him hardly had the personality of a murderer, though. More like ... a sadist. Enjoying the pain and then feeling guilty about the action later.]
You are quite welcome, Archivist. Might I offer one thing, before you leave? [He leaned forward.] If you feel yourself losing control, you should come to me immediately.
You are quite welcome, Archivist. Might I offer one thing, before you leave? [He leaned forward.] If you feel yourself losing control, you should come to me immediately.
['Archivist' now, not Mr. Sims.
Jon meets Hannibal's gaze looking confused, frightened. It's nothing to do with the man in front of him and more the situation and emotions roiling inside of him. This is one of those times that he wishes he were more the Archivist. More like some of the other avatars who seemed to have a better handle on their feelings, their guilt.
Except that would be horrible, and he doesn't want to become like the rest of them, forget what being human is.]
I, um... I wouldn't have the money to-
[He drops his gaze and pulls out the money he knows he already owes the man. Jon stands abruptly taking a step forward and offering the crisp bills to Hannibal. He's breathing a little faster.]
I'm sorry. Thank you. It wouldn't be- It would be a very bad idea for me to come to you when I'm... I don't want to hurt you, either, Dr. Lecter.
Jon meets Hannibal's gaze looking confused, frightened. It's nothing to do with the man in front of him and more the situation and emotions roiling inside of him. This is one of those times that he wishes he were more the Archivist. More like some of the other avatars who seemed to have a better handle on their feelings, their guilt.
Except that would be horrible, and he doesn't want to become like the rest of them, forget what being human is.]
I, um... I wouldn't have the money to-
[He drops his gaze and pulls out the money he knows he already owes the man. Jon stands abruptly taking a step forward and offering the crisp bills to Hannibal. He's breathing a little faster.]
I'm sorry. Thank you. It wouldn't be- It would be a very bad idea for me to come to you when I'm... I don't want to hurt you, either, Dr. Lecter.
[Hannibal listened to all this quite avidly, lifting his dark gaze from his plate to his dinner companion often. He nodded his head as Judar explained, the flicker of interest across his sharp features showing that he was indeed listening and not just pandering to the conversation. When Judar had finished, he hummed softly, then patted the corners of his mouth elegantly.]
So you were meant to be contracted to a King in your world. Someone who would become a great leader. Does it lessen your power not to be connected to someone of that stature?
[Hannibal considered himself above petty bloodlines at this point, but he was curious.]
So you were meant to be contracted to a King in your world. Someone who would become a great leader. Does it lessen your power not to be connected to someone of that stature?
[Hannibal considered himself above petty bloodlines at this point, but he was curious.]
Ah, not sure, but... I think there's a misunderstanding- I don't contract to kings. Their contracts are with the Djinn at the end of the Trials. Magi are drawn to those that should be kings, and it doesn't have to be just one. It's not always guaranteed, as they'd have to go through the trial first, and it's still their choice on what to do...
[ Judar personally had many candidates over time. Many were gone now, and some he'd been drawn to that were taken away too soon, unfairly and with someone's plans. He didn't want to go over those, though. ]
There's one man that conquered many dungeons- Most were mine, that he took before our planned Candidates could. He was originally some commoner from a fishing village. Then he defeated one Trial, then started a Trading Company. Then he conquered more of them and eventually created his own kingdom. Despite taking my Trials, Sinbad never had me for a magi...
[ No, Sinbad was a disaster all on his own. At least his name was more well-known, not even including the time the man spent in Duplicity. ]
None of it affects my power, though. It's just... Instinct. My power stays my own, no matter what.
[ Judar personally had many candidates over time. Many were gone now, and some he'd been drawn to that were taken away too soon, unfairly and with someone's plans. He didn't want to go over those, though. ]
There's one man that conquered many dungeons- Most were mine, that he took before our planned Candidates could. He was originally some commoner from a fishing village. Then he defeated one Trial, then started a Trading Company. Then he conquered more of them and eventually created his own kingdom. Despite taking my Trials, Sinbad never had me for a magi...
[ No, Sinbad was a disaster all on his own. At least his name was more well-known, not even including the time the man spent in Duplicity. ]
None of it affects my power, though. It's just... Instinct. My power stays my own, no matter what.
[Hannibal leaned forward, taking the money and folding it into his pocket, before putting his hand around the Archist's wrist to hold the other man into place for a moment.]
I am not doing this for the money, Mr. Sims. I want you to come to me because I think you are a danger to yourself, and you are a danger to those around you. As this is a small circle ... you are probably a danger to someone I know, and care for. So your treatment shall be pro-bono. For ... the greater good.
I am not doing this for the money, Mr. Sims. I want you to come to me because I think you are a danger to yourself, and you are a danger to those around you. As this is a small circle ... you are probably a danger to someone I know, and care for. So your treatment shall be pro-bono. For ... the greater good.
[There's an impulse to yank his arm away that Jon has to master for a second or two before responding.]
I'm not-
[Well, he is a danger.]
It's not-
[It is like that.]
I didn't come here for that.
[Which is true.]
You would be in danger if you...
[His gaze focuses on Hannibal instead of glancing away. And as it does, Hannibal will have the impression that it's more than just the Archivist looking at him. There are eyes hot on the back of his neck, the sensation of being watched so intensely, the observer might be piercing through him. The fear drains away from the Archivist's face, replaced by something more predatory, calm, and considering. Like a tiger surveying the options for its next meal.
A Statement. Does this man have a Statement? Some connection to the supernatural?]
I'm not-
[Well, he is a danger.]
It's not-
[It is like that.]
I didn't come here for that.
[Which is true.]
You would be in danger if you...
[His gaze focuses on Hannibal instead of glancing away. And as it does, Hannibal will have the impression that it's more than just the Archivist looking at him. There are eyes hot on the back of his neck, the sensation of being watched so intensely, the observer might be piercing through him. The fear drains away from the Archivist's face, replaced by something more predatory, calm, and considering. Like a tiger surveying the options for its next meal.
A Statement. Does this man have a Statement? Some connection to the supernatural?]
[Hannibal's head tipped a little further, and his smile appeared. He lifted his wine glass, saluting Judar, and taking a long sip.]
I have heard of Sinbad, of course. In my world, he is a myth. How fascinating to know that he is an actual person.
[He smiled into his glass.] I suppose that means you are simply attracted to me for my personality. How very odd .. and yet complimentary. I do enjoy being interesting enough to engage a Magi, at least sexually.
I have heard of Sinbad, of course. In my world, he is a myth. How fascinating to know that he is an actual person.
[He smiled into his glass.] I suppose that means you are simply attracted to me for my personality. How very odd .. and yet complimentary. I do enjoy being interesting enough to engage a Magi, at least sexually.
He's infamous in our world, very aware of it and so confident that it gets on my nerves.
[ Confident in his choices and abilities, to the point where he makes sure he's successful in whatever he does. Even with people... Ah, but he'll get annoyed and riled up if he kept thinking about that stupid king. So, yes. Hannibal. It was better talking about Hannibal.
Even if it's with more candid honesty than most people would give. ]
Sure, your personality, but also your body. Both have their own kinds of strengths, and you've got this calm confidence that's more... Mature, or something, instead of overbearing and trying to drown those around you out.
[ Can you guess the level Sinbad was at? ]
Though I guess I'm more partial to someone that'd so easily pin me against a wall.
[ Confident in his choices and abilities, to the point where he makes sure he's successful in whatever he does. Even with people... Ah, but he'll get annoyed and riled up if he kept thinking about that stupid king. So, yes. Hannibal. It was better talking about Hannibal.
Even if it's with more candid honesty than most people would give. ]
Sure, your personality, but also your body. Both have their own kinds of strengths, and you've got this calm confidence that's more... Mature, or something, instead of overbearing and trying to drown those around you out.
[ Can you guess the level Sinbad was at? ]
Though I guess I'm more partial to someone that'd so easily pin me against a wall.
[Hannibal let go the moment he realized he had captured Jon's attention thoroughly. He bore his own dark eyes into the other man's.]
You did not, but I feel that you may need it.
[There are many horrible things that Hannibal Lecter has seen and done, but alas, none of that is supernatural. Simply horrific. That calm gaze covers a great deal of horror.
Beyond that, what Jonathan Sims would see was simply a predator's gaze in return. Calm, but ready to strike.]
You did not, but I feel that you may need it.
[There are many horrible things that Hannibal Lecter has seen and done, but alas, none of that is supernatural. Simply horrific. That calm gaze covers a great deal of horror.
Beyond that, what Jonathan Sims would see was simply a predator's gaze in return. Calm, but ready to strike.]
[The Archivist's gaze holds for several seconds, and then the sense of being watched fades. He clearly loses interest, glances away toward the door. Whatever he was looking for, it's not in Hannibal. It's only when he looks back, sees the doctor's expression, that it registers for Jon what he'd just done. How easily he'd slipped. But that was... there was a purpose to this, yes? He'd needed to check, to see if Hannibal would be vulnerable.
The rationalization after the fact has his stomach churning just a bit.
He starts to look uncomfortable once more.]
No. No, thank you. I-
I'll handle it. I can handle it.
[Hopefully.]
The rationalization after the fact has his stomach churning just a bit.
He starts to look uncomfortable once more.]
No. No, thank you. I-
I'll handle it. I can handle it.
[Hopefully.]
[The moment that intense interest starts to fade, Hannibal can feel his senses pull back from the need to attack Jonathan Sims. He leans back in his chair completely, giving Sims a long and steady look.
Finally, he nods.]
As you wish. I cannot force anyone to seek help. Just be reminded of your mantra, and your grounding exercise. I shall be keeping an eye out for you.
Finally, he nods.]
As you wish. I cannot force anyone to seek help. Just be reminded of your mantra, and your grounding exercise. I shall be keeping an eye out for you.
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